Post practice speech

The following is a transcript of an emotional speech given by longtime Arrowhawk and team GM, Bill 'Soft Spot' Miller after the morning practice. The Arrowhawks will face the #2 seed Maple Leafs this Friday in the opening round of the CAHL C2 playoffs. The Leafs are favored by 2 goals.

"You guys are such slackers. It’s amazing we’ve been able to accomplish three wins this session with all the complete suckness that’s infested this hockey club. If I were Bruce Budreau I’d assault everyone with an oppressive volley of Fbombs attached to words like effort, commitment, discipline and nutsack. Then I’d draw lots of lines and arrows on the grease board and finish it off with an ACME box of TNT exploding to depict the raw shit we’ve put on the ice this session. Frankly, I’m disappointed to put on my sweater. True, it smells a bit since I don’t want to wash it and ruin it, but even still I’m reminded of too many missed opportunities, like that time Oleg plowed into Nate in the corner or when Terry kept pointing to me when the ref blew his whistle. 12 weeks of missing 3 foot puts. That’s the feeling eating at the pit of my stomach. But it’s not too late it turn it around, boys. One win. One stinking win is all we need to get the train to badass back on the track. All that stands in the way are the Maple Leafs and all their fancy skating and goal scoring ability. They’ll be tough to defeat, that’s for sure. Not sure we have the intestinal fortitude to dig deep within ourselves to gut out a W. Not sure I like the visual of Barry digging deep within himself anyway. We can’t miss this put, boys. Left edge. Right, Mark?"