Keys to victory

LEWIS CENTER, OH - The Arrowhawks and Big Pucks are about three hours away from the drop of the puck. A quick look at the standings indicates a decided edge in goal scoring to the Hawks, but the players don't see it that way.

"As long as the Ginger Wizard, Parker and Letezia are out there they won't be taken lightly," said Tom Morgan after his afternoon yoga session. "They've struggled defensively but they ran into a buzzsaw last week with a motivate Mamas and Papas." he added.

"They are used to winning," said third line winger Chris Carpenter. "And they wear orange and for some reason we struggle with the primary colors. Except red. We usually can handle red teams. White teams are sometimes hard, too. Our color blind guys always struggle with the colors so we'll be wearing our black sweaters tonight."

5 keys to victory
1. Jensen needs to control the rebounds in front. Wharton is deadly in the slot and the Pucks work high to low in the offensive zone with the best of them.
2. Defense must avoid being distracted by all the hot women that come to the game hoping for backstage passes after the game. "I've been put in charge of manning the door so the ladies don't bother us before the game or after, when we are most vulnerable," said ladies man Barry Snow. "If I need to, I'll string Oleg's jock on the door. That'll keep them away."
3. Carp can't fall over the blueline more then 3 times. "Carp gets excited sometimes and forgets to send brainwaves to his feet to keep them moving," said captain Mark Monahan. "If he stays upright, we'll showcase his speed in the neutral zone."
4. Get Kevin going early. Griffith is a mainstay on the offensive score sheet. He'll man the second line tonight between Epic Win and leading assist man, Rick Titus. Titus has been on a tear of late, much of which is attributed to his off-season condition program involving P90X, Dance Dance Revolution and a new beer tap in his basement.
5. Mac Lawless factor. Mac's offensive skills have been the difference in games past. If he shows up on five beers or less, look out. If he's over his normal five beer limit, look out. "We never know which bench he'll go to," said Jason Torsok.