DUBLIN, OH - Let's start with the basics. The Arrowhawks entered tonight's contest against the new team in the division, Rirruto, tied for the league basement at 1-3. Both teams needed a win. The Hawks next two games are against league powerhouse Eskimos and Maple Leafs, so a win was a must. They didn't disappoint.
The Arrowhawks, wearing their new red sweaters and really tight socks, started fast with 3 quick goals in the first period. Kevin Griffith potted a rebound after controlling play deep in the offensive zone. Oleg Chetverikov, the Hawks favorite ever European player, helped set up the goal keeping the puck in the zone.
"Did you know Oleg has a sauna in his basement?" said LW Rick 'Blind Squirrel finds a nut' Titus. "220 degrees is a good temperature." he added. Oleg invited the entire team over for a cleansing session, but there were no takers.
"I've been in hot places before," said Mac Lawless, a frequent visitor of Mexico, Columbia and African hunting trips. "I use a long bow like that crazy long haired elf from the Lord of the Rings. But I usually hunt small game since it's easy to carry and won't interfere with my beer stash. I only sweat when I kill game and I like Oleg," he added.
Hawk fans should be proud of that decision.
A decision the fans wouldn't be proud of happened early in the third period. Rirruto had scored two goals, one even strength on a breakaway and one on a 2 man advantage. An Arrowhawk whispered ever so gently, "#37 isn't wearing shoulder pads." It was a classless move, one never before taken. The refs made the player leave the ice for his pads.
"Gutless, crap call on our part." said captain Mark Monahan. "I'm going to find out who did it and send him down to the minors like we did last week with our minor league callup Big 'Don't call me cup' Ryder. He's a hell of a guy and probably a good rugby player and golfer, but we had to send him down because he made me look small."
Ryder, 6'4" and 260 pounds is a former WWE wrestler. "He was overrated," said Kevin Griffith, a big WWE fan. "Good player and good guy, but he made fun of Mac being too skinny and looking like a tooth pick and we didnt like that."
Despite the gap of integrity, the stoppage in play seemed to work for the Hawks, Rirruto seemed rattled by the call and the momentum quickly turned back to the Arrowhawks favor.
"I didn't like it. We owe them an apology,"" said Nick 'Chara' Lanctot after the game. "Total bush. Not like the beer, but like those funny Australian's with bones in their noses."
The Hawks killed their penalties and seemed to get their legs back to close the game. Chris Carpenter notched his first goal on the session with a timely slap shot from the blue line. The puck deflected off a Rirruto defenseman and found twine.
"Carp's goal was huge. Even Nate was impressed. He seems to have a thing for pretty things. He's always talking about sunsets and iPads and stuff," said Mike Gauthier.
The Hawks prevailed 5-2 on a back and forth affair. Rirruto should do well in the division. #19, #1 and #37 are very good players.
"They are a good team," said LW Tom Morgan. "We had many chances but they did their thing, controlling rebounds and keeping us out of the slot."
Nate Mensel manned the right wing for Jason Torsok, who was a healthy scratch. "Jay is probably the most committed guy on the team, always watching tape. He fell asleep in the film room this week trying to prepare and spilled his milkshake all over the computer equipment. He tried to fix it, but the duct tape didn't work. So he wrote a note that he was sorry and baked a cake for the technology manager," said John Kenyon. "Then he drank all the beer in the team room and passed out. That was probably the worst of it."
Jason Jensen played well, like usual. Nick Lantot has a really heavy shot. "Ryder wouldn't even be able to lift it," Lawless chirped. Not to be outdone, Lawless blitzed a heavy shot of his own, adding the Hawks fifth goal.
In the end, it was a much needed win for the Hawks.
