Murphy's Law is in full effect, boys. As if losing their captain wasn't hard enough, causing the whole team to cry at center ice after practice today, the Hawks will now have to face the Freakin' Eskimos without star defenseman Nick 'Minnesota' Lanctot. [is that a giant run-on sentence or what?]
"He's got a hard shot, but that's about it," said a disappointed Rick Titus. "He'd make a good candidate for The Apprentice but he'd probably sucker punch a washed-up actor, make fun of Donald's hair and get kicked off the show. You are FIRED NICK!"
No Lanctot isn't really fired. The Hawks couldn't replace his blazing speed, cannon shot or personable demeanor at the bar.
"We considered claiming Sheldon Souray off waivers, but Nick's much cooler," said Tom Morgan from his private plane. Morgan and linemate Jason Torsok are volunteering for a 3-day goal scoring clinic in Charlotte, NC. "We're legends in these parts," said Torsok humbly.
No word on minor league callups as of this post. Check back later for more information.
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