The Junior B Hawks hopes to a fast start this session were dashed by a potent Messing With Sasquatch club Sunday, after 3 third period goals. Not even former Friday Arrowhawk Jeff Augenstein could provide the Junior B's the spark they needed. Our crack reporting staff wasn't there for the game, but we'd imagine it went something like this.
Sasquatch scored the first goal just :47 seconds into the game when Hawk captain Neil 'Rocket' Richard fired a brilliant cross-ice pass to a streaking Dan Turk (Turk was literally streaking because he lost a pre-game bet with team prankster Dave Mustafaga who bet Turk he couldn't hold his breath longer than 3 minutes without passing out. After Turk regained consciousness, he was disoriented, took off his clothes and ran onto the ice). The confusion was enough to give the opposing team the edge. They potted the goal and the Hawks were behind.
"We're just glad he regained his wits and got dressed," said a relieved Richard.
"A bet's a bet," said Turk after the game. "I was fine after the ref reminded me that full pads weren't optional."
Turk and the Hawks settled down after that. It was a close-fought battle of open ice hits, massive slappers and enough dangling to make put a brown trout to sleep (now THAT's a wonderful metaphor).
The Hawks tied the game 1-1 when #6 Jeff Slinger released a wicked wrister past the outstretched arm of Squatch goalie Brent Baire. David Kleen and a fully dressed Dan Turk assisted on the play. Immediately after the goal Jeff Augenstein began singing Pearl Jam ballads on the bench. Dave Cameron, fearing the team would lose its edge, ordered Augenstein to stop singing or "at least sing some AC/DC or Zeppelin." Augenstein offered some Jonas Brothers but was quickly shut down.
So too were the Hawks. The Squatch shut the Hawks down the rest of the game, and rattled off 3 third period goals to grab the win.
"There's always next week," said Richard. "We'll be ready."
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