BREAKING NEWS -- The Arrowhawks officially announced the signing of C/F Andrew Applehans to the summer roster. Applehans, 24, was originally drafted by the Arrowhawks in the 2nd round (37th) of the 2008 CAHL draft. Originally a French-Canadian, Applehans has since changed nationality to South Korean on account of "Kim Jung Ung is a dick." When not wearing red pants in the wild, Applehans likes to skate up and down the ice and occasionally try to climb the glass like Spider Man.
"Getting a player like Andrew is critical for us as we look to continue our ascent as the best hockey team in Columbus not playing in leagues above C-level," said retired GM Bill Miller.
Byrnes Pub was also in the running for Applehans but the Arrowhawks were able to seal the deal after offering to cover Andrew's first post-game pop.
"My agent's pissed about his commission, but I like the deal," said Applehans.
One roster spot remains for the Hawks summer session. They'll be looking to add depth on the blueline, since Mac Lawless and Nick Lanctot will be out, attempting to make the US Ninja Warrior team.
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