Friday, December 11, 2009

Playoff game 1 - Pre-game 10-pack

ARENA DISTRICT, OH - The Arrowhawks will square off against the current league champion Eskimos at 9:40 p.m. tonight at the IceHaus. It's no secret the teams don't like each other. It should be a wild game.

With that, our pre-game 10-pack.

1. Gooch will yell at someone on the bench, causing a fight before the game begins.
2. The Eskimos will play with enough energy that Jason Torsok will call a timeout on his first shift, to yell at the refs to tell them to "SLOW DOWN DAMMIT!"
3. Chris Carpenter will take the ice with someone else's stick and not notice.
4. Mark Monahan will eat a pre-game meal that'll make him very gassy
5. Nate Mensel, fresh off his second brain surgery this month, will skate wonderfully with the puck without ever deciding who to pass it to.
6. Our mysterious sub goalie will play large, frustrating the Eskimos into skating faster, causing Torsok to... (see #2)
7. Mac Lawless will get three roughing penalties and laugh about each one in the sin-bin.
8. Nick Lanctot, not present for the game, will wonder someplace "I wonder how the Hawks are doing?"
9. Tom Morgan will shoot a puck so hard his stick breaks in half. Terry Walker screams, "LAY OFF THE ROIDS!"
10. Kevin Griffith will score the game winning goal, sliding on his back, while whistling ABBA's Take a Chance on Me. His brother Bryan shakes his head and says "Kevin, I know you love Abba, but come on!"

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