A Rare Bye Week

As you all know, the Arrowhawks have a bye week. Fans are interested in what the players do during their off-time. Goaltender Jason Jensen and wife Alana conducted interviews to see what the Arrowhawks would be doing with their rare Friday night off. Here are the results!!!


Mark Monahan
First line center Mark Monahan is enjoying his time off by wandering around his house knee-deep in children. Mark enjoys dressing up like a clown, and throwing parties for his 3 kids. After all the other kids leave, and his children are in bed, he plans on doing his lovely wife.

Kevin Griffith
Kevin plans to spend his free Friday night by duct taping the few parts of his stick, that are not already covered in duct tape. He got his hands on some crazy glue with the intent of fixing up his stick, but realized, it's really fun to sniff. Planned on doing his wife, but passed out due to crazy glue inhalation.

Tom Morgan
Tom bought some beer, and couldn't talk because he was doing his wife. Not sure if he drank any beer yet.

Mac Lawless
He's drunk somewhere. He doesn't remember where he is, so he couldn't elaborate. Plans to try doing his wife later, but may end up scoring with a pillow.

Nate Mensel
Whatever he agreed to do tonight, he didn't show up for. Probably doing his wife.

Jason Torsok
Midnight golfing on a sail boat, most likely drunk. Wishing he had a wife to do.

Nick Lanctot
Selling whatever it is he sells to strangers while drunk. Planning on doing Marta later.

Barry Snow
Well... he's definately not surfing. Doing his new girlfriend.

Oleg Chetverikov
Relaxing in his sauna while stating "Opulence, i has it". Doing his wife after he's all hot and sweaty.

Rick Titus
Wishing he was playing hockey. Left work early to do his wife.

Mike Gauthier
Getting yet another tatoo, hitting up the tanning salon, then doing his wife.

John Kenyon
Staring off into space, while dreaming about doing his wife, even though she's ready and in bed already. Good luck John.

Chris Carpenter
Watching Glee re-runs. Eating home made dinner, then doing the wife.

Andrew Appelhans
Broke into Nationwide Arena to dress up in the Stinger costume and skate around for a while, with the flag, while wishing he had a wife to do.

Terry Walker
Wrote this article tonight while doing his wife....
There is an Asteroid named Apophis that will dance with the Earth a few times between 2029 and 2037. When first discovered, the course trajectory was not known enough to determine if it would hit the Earth in 2029. Oddly enough, for a few days, as the trajectory became better and better known, Earth still remained in the kill zone - which meant the chances of Apophis hitting the Earth grew. On December 24 2004, the chances of a direct impact with Earth was put at 1:37 - extremely scary. However, now we know that while Apophis will come VERY close in 2029, it will miss us. The chances of getting hit in 2029 are 0.
However, there is a gravitational "keyhole", very small, that if Apophis falls into will change its course just enough so that it WILL hit us in 2036. This keyhole is tiny, and the chances of Apophis hitting passing through and hitting us in 2036 is 1:45,000. Plus we should know with certainty if Apophis will fall into the keyhole within the next 10 years - plenty of time to do something about it (it will take very little to move the asteroid away from the keyhole).
There is also a chance that Apophis will hit in 2037, but this is minuscule: 1:2,700,000. This will occur if Apophis falls into yet a different gravitational keyhole in 2036.

Mark McFarland
Wishing he was playing hockey. Doing his wife, while dreaming about hockey. He can't help it, that's all he thinks about.

Jason Jensen
Stick handling in the living room, and dining room, with new hockey gloves, and a sweet liquid filled Mylec hockey ball. Planning to do the co-author very shortly. Is this article written yet? Yes it is, screw the proof reading, let's go do it!

Written by Alana and Jason Jensen