On behalf of the Arrowhawks, I'd like to personally wish all the Friday C2 beer leaguers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I sincerely hope each of you eat and drink so much that you come to camp 10 pounds overweight so you are a step slower and lose just enough skill that we can overtake you. I'm talking to you Your Ad Here, Yogis and (freakin) Eskimos. If you're on the fence, please spend the extra coin needed to fatten your goalies so they are a tad slower with their glove hand. Buy them pizza. Buy them beers. Buy them whatever quacky royalty they desire so they're happy and fatten their bellies. Ivan, I'll do my best to make sure you aren't on your game because the Roosters have gotten too damn good for their own good.
In the event you Friday nighters are thinking the Arrowhawks are taking the rest of the league lightly, I may have forgotten my point. It is, after all, 1:51 a.m. Christmas morning and I have wrapping to do. But rest assured, our club is under strict orders to get 10 hours of sleep per night and skate 4 hours per day to obtain our seventh championship. Eskimos, please change your jersey color to something other than yellow as that seems to be our kryptonite. Or maybe it's just good positional hockey and excellent goaltending. On that note, please get lazy Bombers and Byrnes Pub. The fact that any team can defeat any team vexes me and I don't need more vexing. I'd like to remain fat and out of shape and still be able to win more games than we lose. You're commitment to good hockey threatens my way of life. But I digress.
Happy Holidays all. Eat an extra four pounds of chicken wings.