Saturday, February 6, 2010

Hawks drop Mamas, 7-1

WORTHINGTON-OH, Despite the biggest snow storm of the year, The Arrowhawks defeated Mamas and Papas 7-1 Friday. I was too busy shoveling my driveway to make it to the game, so I have no idea what happened. I can tell you it is the first game the Arrowhawks have ever won at the Worthington ice rink.

"I don't like that rink," admitted Bryce Griffith earlier in the week. "The lighting is terrible and the boards are too low."

We'll have to check the score sheet to see if Bryce likes the rink any better after a 7-1 win. I'm guessing the law firm line (Griffith, Griffith & Griffith) did pretty well. We'll track down the actual results of the game later. Until then, enjoy the snow!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

5 questions - Kevin Griffith, #25

1. Describe what it's like centering your two brothers on the Arrowhawks top line. 
I think it's great.  Between veggie burgers and gyros, we really stink it up out there.

2. Do you have a most memorable goal you've scored or assist you've made?
Assisting Tommy's first goal, returning from his injured shoulder.

3. Is there a team you most look forward to playing in our league?
The bombers

4. If Mac Lawless wrote an autobiography and you were asked to title it, what would the title be?
Breaking the law.

5. Hollywood loves good looks. Which member of the Hawks would fit best in the 'Hollywood' lifestyle and why?
I would have to say Torsok, he has the hair.

Hawks offer Hitch three year deal


In the wake of his recent firing by the CBJ, former head coach Ken Hitchcock has been offered the same position with the Arrowhawks Hockey Club. The deal is contingent upon Hitchcock passing a physical and agreeing to be nice to all the Hawks, even Mac when he doesn't deserve it.

"I'm flattered to even be considered by such a strong organization," said a pensive Hitchcock. " But right now, I'm going to focus on helping Team Canada not get beat in the preliminary round by Kazhakstan, or Tajikistan, or wherever the hell it is that that Oleg character is from."

When pressed on whether or not he would accept the Arrowhawks' offer after the Olympics, Hitchcock wouldn't be pinned down. "I'll see where the Hawks are once we get done in Vancouver. Their schedule looks tough the next couple of weeks, but maybe I can help them in the stretch drive."

Hawks GM and Media Coordinator Rick Titus was upbeat about the chances of landing the Stanley Cup-winning leader. "I think we've made Hitch a solid offer. Other teams may come knocking on his door, too, but once he's had beers with our fellas I'm sure he'll sign with the Hawks."

Stay tuned for more updates.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Hawks move to 2-1

Arrowhawk alternate captain Tom Morgan laughs off a near miss on the Panther empty net late in the third period.

DUBLIN, OH The Hawks moved their record to 2-1 on the session, defeating the Panthers 4-2 Friday night before a capacity crowd (Alana and two Chiller staffers cleaning the rafters). The win moves the Arrowhawks into a tie for third place in the division, with those darn Eskimos. C'mon Mos, can't you come up with better sweaters than yellow ones? Why not all white? Doesn't it snow a bunch where there are Eskimos? You could have been the classiest bunch on the ice on Friday nights with your all-white duds. Sure, it would be very hard to see each other, but it would work both ways, wouldn't it? Oh well, at least they aren't as ugly as this.


Back to the Panther game.

The Panthers opened scoring by luckily getting one by Jason Jensen midway through the first period. Jensen was caught watching his wife in the stands talking to some young dude while she knitted him a new sweater.

"I was just asking the kid if he would mind trying on the sweater so I could see if it would fit Jason," said Alana, the Hawks #1 fan. "He was about Jason's build. It was a harmless mistake."

Arrowhawk management will be talking with Mrs. Jensen about sitting in the player's wife section in the future so there won't be disruptions in future games.

The Panthers were ahead until Bryce Griffith sprung through the neutral zone with Mark Monahan on a 2-on-1. Griffith laid a saucer pass right on Monahan's stick with two strides to go before reaching the Panther netminder. Monahan deeked the goalie and potted the equalizer.

Jason Torsok scored on a blistering wrister shortly after Bryce's goal, to give the Hawks a 2-1 lead. The Panthers didn't give up though. They peppered Jensen and eventually scored again to tie the game.

This apparently made the Griffith boys angry. They awoke and maintained consistent offensive-zone pressure firing shot after shot. Bryan Griffith passed and moved well in the high slot winning board battles all game. Bryce Griffith scored to make the game 3-2 then scored a minute later to put the game out of reach, 4-2.

"The Panthers are a good team," Said Tom Morgan +2 on the night. "They play their positions well and do a good job of clogging the neutral zone." He added.

Minnesota Nick Lanctot was moved to defense and played a stellar game. He brought speed into and out of each zone and was physical in front of goaltender Jason Jensen. He did wind up taking back-to-back penalties in the second period, :06 seconds apart, but that aside he was a significant contributor.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The game that never was

Damn measles.

Check this out, Hawk fans. Our beloved 2nd line left wing, Tom Morgan was a valuable member of a high school hockey team that was ranked #1 in the state, back in 1989. The championship game versus the #2 ranked team, a cross-town rival, was initially postponed and ultimately cancelled due to the measles outbreak (Andrew will have no idea what I'm talking about since he probably wasn't even born yet -- and probably never had measles since he was likely home schooled so nobody would pick on him).

The game everyone wanted to see never happened.

Well it's going to. And our favorite finisher will be a part of it. Read this for more information.

On behalf of the entire Hawk family, we wish you complete and utter domination Tommy!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Leafs drop Hawks 5-4

DUBLIN, OH - Those darn Maple Leafs were at it again on Friday. Not the NHL's version, but the CAHL version. They scratched and clawed their way to a 5-4 win against the Arrowhawks.

No word yet on who the true difference makers were, but since I'm a betting man, I'd bet the house on the following:

• Carp took a bad penalty causing the Leafs to score not once, but twice (the second on ref error).
• Torsok fell over the bench after getting his legs caught up in Kenyon's stick and dropped the octopus he was going to throw on the ice.
• Kevin added to the on-bench aroma in a not so good fashion. "I had chili before the game," he'd later say.
• Bryce yelled at Kevin for something, causing Kevin to yell back, causing Bryan to snap and put his brothers in their place.
• Monahan spoke gently to the officials about the greater good of the oscar nominated film, Prescious.
• Mac skated like a nut into our own goalie, taking out the net and everyone in his path.
• Gooch complained about the number of skaters and offered to get his hand grenade from the locker room, "to see what happens."
• Jensen made several spectacular saves and had many, many slashes of the opponent.
• Nate decided he wasn't coming off the ice... ever... and skated the entire game but never came close enough to get the hook.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Lawless out indefinitely

BREAKING NEWS - Top four defenseman and fan favorite Mac Lawless appears to be miffed over an alleged statistical conspiracy involving GM Tom Morgan and top line right wing, Bryce Griffith. According to Mac's official website (www.I'llbeyourhuckleberry.com (ok, this isn't really his official website, we couldn't find it and calls were not returned)) he's taking a indefinite leave of absence to protest the re-distribution of points.

AH.com's attempts to reach Lawless or his agent were met with the following voice mail message: "If you are a fan, I dig you. If you are Bryce, you suck. If you are anyone else, leave me be. I'm busy baking. " Reportedly, Lawless likes to bake when he's upset.

Lawless' well-scripted press release:

After two weeks of unwanted media attention, Mac Lawless (AKA Killer) announced today that he will be leaving the Arrowhawks indefinitely to focus on healing the wounds caused by the redistribution of points on the stat sheet by Tom Morgan.


"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that the point redistribution has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children," Lawless said. "I want to say again to everyone that Tom should be profoundly sorry and ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage Tom has done, but he should do his best to try."


The statement, posted on Lawless's web site, continued:

"I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, Arrowhawks teammates, the CCYHA, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What's most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.


After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from semi-professional hockey. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.


Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period."