LEWIS CENTER, OH - The Arrowhawks shocked fans tonight with a surprise front office move, firing GM Bill 'Softspot' Miller and hiring one-time Hawk John Ryder as the new general manager and president of hockey operations. Rumblings of a potential move began early last week when Miller was found sleeping in his truck listening to a best of Anne Murray CD with a box of tissues.
"I have no comment at this time," said Miller via text message. "I rest on my excellence of developing a championship roster and I still have the best mustache this organization has ever seen." added Miller.
Ryder, a brilliant hockey mind and Colorado native offered a brief statement through Arrowhawk top PR official Alana Jensen.
"We've got a simple goal, win it all. I'll do my best to continue what Miller has built, a top-notch organization capable of winning night in, night out. I carry a big axe and I'll swing it if I have to," said Ryder. "I'm not afraid to fly to Columbus, rent a car and drive around looking for a rink that's close to a bar. One thing is certain... I'm not sure what it is yet, but it'll present itself eventually and when it does, I won't be sleeping at the wheel. Long live Hello Kitty."
Miller leaves the Hawks with a sterling 43-14 record and offered a final parting quote,"I'm going to shovel some snow."
Bring on the snow (not you, Barry).
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