SOMEPLACE IN CENTRAL OHIO - Long time Arrowhawk fans know all about the early struggles of the team. Back in the day, before the Hawks impressive 4 championships, the Arrowhawks were the whipping boy for the rest of the league (If the Eskimos are reading this, "NO we are not your whipping boys now"). Losing 9 games a session seemed to be the norm.
"At least we looked good," said Chris 'I sometimes wear my sweater the correct way" Carpenter. A nine year veteran, Carp has been with the team through thick and thin. "I remember the early ski-club transplants. Henri Foucher was always my favorite. That man can really hold his own. Not sure if he can ski, though."
The Hawks added and subtracted many players over the years. Dave Cameron, Bruce Markey, Neal 'Rocket' Richard, Steve Gross, Mark Jones, Jim 'Clifford' Kuhn, Flute, Art 'Jesus' Fisher, Steve Mikes. Many one-time favorites have gone on to play Sunday night D league, as the Junior B Arrowhawks. They've done well most sessions, finishing in the middle of the pack and advancing to the playoffs. But not this session.
"I was hoping to give you some good news to report from the Junior B team but well, we really suck right now," said Dave Mustafaga "We are 1-7 and it ain’t pretty. We put out a call to the Hanson brothers but have not had much luck getting a return call. Last week one of our forwards had a Charlie Sheen moment and just left the ice, stormed out of the rink dragging his hockey bag and slammed his jock on the sidewalk in front of the Chiller, and kept yelling he wanted $3 per session, doubling his salary. Could be evidence of potential brain damage you can only take your head to the pipes so many times. No one will pick up the jock so the Dublin Chiller has roped off the area."
Arrowhawk management had the following response: "We are aware of the plight of the Junior B club and are working with local officials on improving morale. Billy Miller is in his office right now talking to someone with a really loud voice and slamming his fist on the desk repeatedly. We even heard the words 'Send a bus of Canadians and we'll sort em' out'. We have no official comment at this time, besides 'we support our D league brothers and believe in their abilities.'"
The B's have only scored 7 goals in 8 games and are 1 point from the Sunday D west basement.
"Red rover, red rover, send Oleg right over," said a fan from the stands.
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