Arrowhawks drop Rucks, 2-Zip

LEWIS CENTER, OH - For the first time in history, the third place Arrowhawks (5-2) were matched up against the Ruckmoor Ringers (4-2-1). The Ringers are a new team to the Friday night C2 division. They sport a shamrock green sweater with a classic yellow script crest, a skilled squad and a full bench. Coming into the game the Ringers trailed the Hawks by a single point. When the puck dropped, fans could see why. The Ringers rolled 3 lines and were tough in all zones. Their netminder was fundamentally sound, quick to square and didn't give up rebounds. If the Hawks were to win, they'd have to crash the net and play hard in both zones.

They did just that.

One Hawk was head and shoulders better than the rest. Oleg 'Epic Win' Chetverikov played like he was back in the swollen bowels of mother russia, er Ukraine. He was a man possessed, in need of vodka.

"We're not sure what got into Oleg tonight," said a befuddled Mac Lawless, who was awesome defensively on the night. "He mentioned something about a new Rogaine formula and testosterone boost shake and sung an old mother Russia song in the room before we took the ice, but I didn't think anything of it at the time," he said.

Oleg scored both goals, took two penalties (one was breaking up a clear scoring chance by Ruckmoor's best player, defenseman Johnny Weir), and sung the Russian national anthem on the bench while in the sin bin.

"I didn't know Oleg could sing so well," said Mike Gauthier, plus-1 on the night.

Top line defenesman Nick Lanctot was slightly above average on the night. He skated somewhat quick and handled the puck somewhat well. He made quality passes and his decision making was on par with top republicans during the Reagan era. Fans in attendance ewwed and awed at his fast hockey stops that would have absolutely made his learn-to-play hockey coaches and Mom and Dad very proud.

"I like all the swish sounds he makes when he skates. Reminds me of pee-wee all star games," said a random fan with thick glasses from the stands.

"They're a good club," said alternate captain Tom Morgan. "Top to bottom they can skate and handle the puck. They'll be a tough club to face down the road," Morgan admitted after the game.

"I'm color blind," said Kevin Griffith who assisted on both goals. "I couldn't tell who to pass the puck to."

Captain Mark Monahan missed the game due to being in trouble with his better half.

"I forgot about a bagel in the toaster and almost burned down the house," said a disappointed Monahan. "The Hawks need leadership right now and I just can't offer it tonight. Besides, my wife said I'm grounded."

Click on the video above to watch an extended portion of the game. Video was taken by 12 year-old Emma, a budding broadcast superstar. Enjoy!