Wednesday, July 27, 2011

5 Questions with Jon Ryder



We're continuing our 5-questions series with Colorado native John Ryder, a one time sub for the Arrowhawks and rumored friend of Arrowhawk defenseman Mac Lawless. The Q&A is unique, since Ryder only played one game with the Hawks. With that, enjoy...

Q: You got to play a single game with the amazing Arrowhawks, the pride of Central Ohio’s adult hockey leagues. What was the experience like?
A: Even six months later I still believe my one game with the Arrowhawks was the single greatest experience in my athletic career. It is never easy being the “new” guy on a team with such a history of excellence, but from the moment I walked into the locker room I felt as if I was part of something special, albeit a small part. It cannot be stressed enough the professionalism of each and every player and how they go about their business. If I had to sum up my experience in one word, it would be supercalifragilisticexpialidocios.


During the game, did you ever catch yourself saying, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually here playing with the likes of Chris Carpenter and Barry Snow”?
A: Honestly, the speed of the game was so much quicker, I could have been skating with the 1984 Edmonton Oilers. Was I playing with Chris Carpenter and Barry Snow, or Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier? For all I know they could be one and the same, I felt like a traffic cone out there.


On a 1-10 scale, with 10 being off the charts, how would you rate the Arrowhawks ability to:
A: Not really a question but I will answer it anyway: 79


...breakout:
1: they all seem to have a good skin care program so breakouts weren’t a problem.


score goals:
6: I would give them a 10 but ...they where obviously encumbered with my presence on the ice.


...neutralize opponents skilled players:
10: Its pretty hard when you’re basically playing one man down on every third shift but the team showed great effort.


post-game pop consumption:
0: Now I might ...have been dizzy from over exertion but I don’t remember a single pop being consumed during my entire stay with the Arrowhawks or my host family. However, if the question was how many adult beverages where consumed then I would give the Arrowhawks a 10 with a special shout-out to #48 Mac Lawless.


...skate without falling down and looking stupid:
If I was on the ice 1, If I wasn’t on the ice 10.


...avoid intellectual conversations in the locker room:
5: I was shocked when I walked in and one half of the room was discussing string theory and its framework in particle physics, while the other half was contemplating who would wear what to the forthcoming Royal Wedding.


If star defenseman Mac Lawless were to have a movie made about his life, which actor would be best to fill the role?
A: This is a hard question to answer, I think to encompass everything that is #48 Mac Lawless multiple actors would be needed to truly express what he has meant to family, friends and the world. I would say that for his early years a young Neil Patrick Harris would be a perfect fit, boy genius is synonymous with #48 Mac Lawless so the kid who played Doogie Howser shouldn’t have a problem portraying #48. For on ice scenes I would probably cast Ned Dowd who played Ogie Olgethorpe in the move Slap Shot, #48 Mac Lawless likes to play a physical game that toes the line between what is legal and what is unequivocally not. Now for off ice adult scenes I could think of only one actor who could correctly portray #48 Mac Lawless, and that is Lindsay Lohan, because lets be honest they’re both train wrecks. Since #48 Mac Lawless is still in the prime of his career his later years are mostly speculative, however the actor that could best pull it off is Steve Buscemi. Having experience being thrown in a wood chipper, straddling a gatling gun on a meteor, and bowling with The Dude will provide Mr. Buscemi with the necessary background to pull off any of #48’s future life choices.


Do you expect to have your number retired by the Hawks?
A: When the day comes and I have to hang up the skates for good I would consider it an honor to have my jersey retired by the Arrowhawks. Now do I expect it, in one word.....YES!!!


One time sub Jon Ryder gazes over a large body of water located someplace other than Ohio.

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