Hawks down Whalers 3-2

LEWIS CENTER, OH - The Arrowhawks were the next in line for the summer champion Whalers tonight. It was a tall order for the Hawks, having to best the league's best goalie during the summer session.

"His pads are 6 feet tall," said Andrew 'Firenuts' Applehans. "He's all big a tall and all," said the poet.

Missing from the game was the Whalers goalie's number one fan, the guy with the annoying horn and rampant home-team rage. But the Whalers were ready for the game. Their two-way play and potent offensive surge was turned aside by the Hawks 3 defenseman, Nick Lanctot, Nate Mensel and Raymond Parker. When they did get through, Jason Jensen did his thing, turning pucks to the corner.

The Hawks prevailed behind excellent passing and opportunistic play through all zones. Raymond Parker opened the scoring late in the first period on a brilliant individual play along the wall in the neutral zone, passing the puck to himself and potting one five-hole past the really tall Whalers goalie. 

The Hawks never trailed in the game, despite having to overcome four penalty kills. 

"We were thin on the blueline tonight after Mac was scratched at the last minute," said third line forward Chris 'Jesus was a' Carpenter. "But we maintained composure and kept their goal-scorers at bay."

The Hawks top line was effective neutralizing the Whalers, but it was the second line of Wharton, Applehans and the new guy Rob Walls who did the most damage. Applehans and Wharton both notched a two point performance, exhibiting stellar passing and chemistry on their way to goal and assists each. 

"They were on fire tonight," said LW Tom Morgan after the game. "It's a good thing to have two portly performers carrying their weight out there. I'm glad Wharton is burning other teams for once, since we're used to him burying us night in, night out. I'm glad he's a Hawk," he added. 

"Our first two games were against tough opponents," said captain Mark Monahan. "I'm looking forward to hitting our stride as we take on the Leafs and the Bankers. Jensen is freakin' awesome in the crease and our blueline is coming together without Gooch back there." 

The Arrowhawks move to 2-0, one point behind the league leading Roosters club, AKA Maple Leafs, who lost in an overtime shootout to the CS Bankers, AKA Bloods. 

"Emily is a great goalie and we're looking forward to that challenge," said Monahan. 

Terry Walker, Ted Bulwinkle and Mac Lawless were absent for tonight's game, as each attended a fall conference on mixing beverages in extreme conditions. 

"We had to do some zip-line training with a keg tied to our backs," said Walker via satellite phone. "We were dropped in a jungle north of Athens with nothing but a survival knife, three fifths of booze and bug spray. We notched shot glasses out of wood sticks and concocted drinks out of local berries and tree sap. It was a good exercise in leadership training and will serve us well down the stretch." 

Whatever that means.